Is the reflection I see in the mirror who I am, or just the taxi that carries "me" around? As a TG journalist for a host of magazines I have explored this and many other ideas along the detour that has become my life. Being transgender is by far the most confused, conflicted, distracting and yet amazing journey I have ever encountered thus far.
Aug 30 is going to be a big day for Baramee "Denjan" Phanich, and for the transgender community in Thailand. Denjan, 23, is among five transsexual students who have been granted permission to wear female attire during the graduation ceremony at Thammasat University.
It is not the first time transsexual students have been allowed to wear female attire during at the graduation ceremony, but the topic gathered buzz after the biggest-selling Thai Rath newspaper splashed it on the front page. Unfortunately, while it seems like good news for the LGBT community, a more complex dimension of the issue has slowly been revealed.
When briefly reading the news, I thought it was a ground-breaking move that these transsexual students were being treated kindly by the establishment. Graduation day is meaningful to many, and for transsexual students to be able to wear proper female attire _ and be themselves on one of their most important days _ makes it much more special.
It was a brave move for Denjan to follow her dream and fight for her right. For a transsexual, to be able to dress according to her gender identity is a comfort, a basic right that never harms anyone. Imagine if you are a man and being forced to wear women's clothes. It is as simple as that.
But what is left for us, and the transgender community especially, to ponder is the fact getting such permission required Denjan to obtain a diagnosis of "gender identity disorder" from a psychiatrist. Denjan admitted on one of her appearances on television that she was not pleased to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist, but it was the only way for her to wear female attire on her big day.
Denjan's case worries transgender activists who have long fought against labelling transgender as a disease.
Earlier this year when transgender former beauty queen Yollada Suanyos won a seat as councillor on the Nan provincial administration organisation, it gave us hope that gender rights was on the right track, following other places around the world where same-sex marriage is legal and gay parents can raise a beautiful family.
Now, we are back to the debate about whether it is a "disease".
The worst part of this phenomenon was when Denjan was on a talk show hosted by popular and sometimes controversial anchorman Sorayut Suthasanajinda on Channel 3. I believe it's difficult to hope for an improvement towards the issue when a prominent member of the media reports the news in a way that, to me, is very offensive and disrespectful to the guest.